I'm not ready for Kindergarten.

I registered my oldest kid for kindergarten yesterday.  I kept making jokes beforehand about how I was gonna cry but I didn't think I actually would.  Well I did.  A lot.

My husband and I walked into the school and I was looking around at the building, the kids going to band  class, the little projects on the wall.... I felt like it wasn't that long ago that I was spending my days in a building like that.  Time goes by SO fast.  I let my husband handle all the registration stuff because I felt myself getting emotional.  I kept yelling at myself in my head, "You will NOT cry in this building.  You will wait till you get in the car."  I didn't make it to the car.  I barely made it to the door of the school.

My 3 kids are all in the same daycare right now.  In my mind, daycare is this safe place where all my kids are together.  It's comfortable.  It's home.  It's familiar.  School is this big old scary building where my son will be all alone with new scary people and new scary teachers.  I'm sure he'll be fine but I was terrified enough for both of us.  I don't want him to grow up.  I want him to stay in daycare forever.  Next year I'll be registering my younger son for kindergarten (that is, if he can ever stop crapping his pants) but hopefully by then I'll know the drill and won't be a big blubbering baby.

I'm not ready.  I'm not ready for kindergarten.

Bad and Sweet

Sometimes I wonder if my 3-year old is headed for trouble when he gets older.  My 4-year old is sweet and loves everything happy, funny, smiley and good.  Little Brother could not be more opposite.

One of their favorite movies is The Lion King and of course Big Brother loves all the happy parts.  He could sing Hakuna Matata in his sleep.  Little Brother on the other hand thinks Scar is the best thing since sliced bread and loves the part where Scar does his song and dance about killing Mufasa.  What the heck?  I hated that part of the movie when I was a kid.

He likes everything that is bad.

We watched ET for the first time the other day. Big Brother goes, "Mommy, I like good aliens." and Little Brother, right away says in the little voice he uses when he wants to sound menacing, "Mommy, I like the bad aliens."

I guess he doesn't always like the bad guys.  Sometimes he comes up with long random explanations detailing what he would do to a bad guy.  "Mommy, if I saw *insert bad guy here* I would punch him and kick him and break his arm and throw a bed on him and then I would smash him and lawnmower him until he was dead."  Where does he come up with this stuff?  I'm not sure if his zeal for 'lawnmowering' a bad guy makes me feel much better than if he just liked the bad guy.

He does have a sweet side though; he just doesn't show it like Big Brother does.  For example, the other night I was putting him to bed and he asked me if I was going to bed too.  I explained that I had some things to do first.  He asked if I was going to bed after that and I said yes.  Then he started the 'menacing voice' and I waited to see what I was in for, but to my surprise he said, "Mommy, after you go to bed, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna sneak in your bed and I'm gonna snuggle you."

Oh Little Brother.....