Marriage Monday... better late than never right?
Supposedly one of the biggest causes for divorce is finances. Money problems. People fighting about money?? No... never... (this is where I need a sarcasm font.)
Hubs and I have never had a single disagreement about finances. Ever.
On the other hand, Ex and I fought about money ALL the time and it probably was a big factor in our split.
What is different? Everything.
The following lists the major things I think help remove arguments about money.
1. Make a budget. If you don't have a monthly budget, how on earth will you be able to plan for anything? How can you save money? How will you know how big of a car payment or mortgage you can afford? The simple answer is that you can't. You would not believe how many people don't keep a budget. No wonder they fight about money all the time.
You don't have to do anything fancy... No fancy programs. A notebook will do. Up until a couple years ago, I did all my budgeting in a notebook. (Now I use excel) The most basic way to do a budget is to write down all your monthly expenses and monthly income. Then break the income down by pay periods and figure out what bills you will pay for each pay period. Don't forget to leave money for groceries, gas, and a little fun.
Unless you are a millionaire or have and endless income, you should have a budget.
You don't have to do the budget together. I do all the budgeting and handle the finances in our house. BUT, you should review it together at least once a month. Both spouses should always know where the money is going.
2. Have a joint checking and savings account. This is my personal preference. If you have separate accounts and it works for you, great. But, I'm a firm believer that once you get married to someone, it doesn't matter who makes what amount of money. You are two people working as one entity.... or you should be. I don't believe bills should be broken up as to who pays what and who makes what. You aren't roommates; you're married. Maybe I'm wrong but I think a lot of people like to keep their money separate 'just in case'. Just in case of what? Divorce? Separation? Your spouse wipes you out and runs? If you're worried about that sort of thing or don't trust your spouse, there is a deeper problem than money. Any income coming into the home belongs to both of you. Any bill belonging to your household belongs to both of you. You are a team.
Additionally, having one, joint account forces you to communicate!
3. Communicate! (there's that 'c' word again!) If you do the above two things and don't communicate, you are still going to have a problem. As I mentioned in a previous post, Ex was terrible with money... always spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on his truck without talking to me about it. On the flip side, I was doing the budgeting and probably didn't involve him in that enough. As I said above, one person can make the budget, but both parties should be reviewing it together. Both parties should know what your financial situation is. If one spouse were to get hit by a bus, the other spouse should know enough about your financial situation to be able to take it over with full knowledge of how your budgeting system works. Hubs and I sit down at least once a month but usually every pay period when I pay the bills, and I fill him in on what bills I paid, how much I put in savings, and what we have left over. If either of us has a big purchase we want to make in the near future, we bring it up at that time so that it can be budgeted in. Also, the reason I said a joint checking account forces you to communicate is because, you can't just go spend money on a whim without talking to your spouse first. What if you both did that at the same time and came home to no money because he spent $300 and you spend $295 and you only had $600 in your account? Oops. Hubs and I have an unspoken rule. If either of us is going to spend over $100 on something, we give the other one a courtesy call. Not kidding. Now, this doesn't happen all the time. If I go to Target, Hubs knows I'm probably spending at least $150. (That place is dangerous!) But if I'm spending an unplanned amount of money or if I'm at the mall, and I want to buy a shirt that is really cute but has a hefty price tag, I'll call him to see what he thinks. Even though I'm the one that does the finances, and I know that we can afford it, he deserves to weigh in on big purchases. For each couple, the dollar threshold for a "courtesy call" will be different. Maybe $50 dollars. Or maybe you can afford it to be $200.
Just sit down once in a while and talk about money. Goals are important to discuss. Do you want to buy a new car in the future, a house, or go on a vacation? Discuss it. Figure out together how much you can afford or what changes you can make in your daily spending to allow you to accomplish your goals TOGETHER.
So that's my 2 cents on finances. (haha! Get it?)
See you Monday.
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